A China Tale

Bad Critics – The Small Minded

The following is a short rant revolving around my thoughts of the bad critic or the small thinker as I sometimes refer to them as. Forgive my crudeness

This is something that has been bothering me for… I don’t know – almost a years now. I think it bothers me so intensely now as it is a behavior I myself perpetrated in my recent past. I’m talking about people wasting their mind power on criticizing what has happened. People thinking small – for fear of the risk of thinking big. They focus on optimizing and nit-picking. They comb threw new ideas with a fine tooth comb and declare with distinction the problems they see. They spend their time thinking in directions that have very low value-propositions. It’s not a matter of sensitivity on my part to criticism it is outrage stemming from my understanding of how wasteful a use of their energy and my time this is.

Luckily – for those around me operating this way – I love to develop people – it’s one of my passions. Therefore instead of blowing up on people after they don’t get the hint that all their input is essentially useless, I try to place myself in their mindset and explain the path to mine – and why it’s better. The constant critic has little value in start up business endeavors that face new problems daily and need solutions NOW. Offer me a solution – offer me an idea – don’t state the obviousness – no decision or idea is ideal or perfect – they can’t be – things move too fast – they just need to be ‘doable’ for the time being. Knowing and stating problems is useless, unless no ones aware of it – even still – the real value is in offering a solution.

Now, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying the efficiency expert has no place in this world – I’m just saying he has no place at the brainstorming table for coming up with new business ideas and solutions on a demanding timetable. Once things are more established – you have a functioning model – then you can call in the nit-pickers to tidy up. Maybe it starts out stinky, loud, and makes a mess, but it gets the job done – and at the beginning that’s what’s needed. If you spend all your time trying to perfect every peice of the puzzle the opportunity will be lost before you even finish the planning.

I don’t bother wasting my time with trying to explain this to onlookers that make such statements unless their development has some benefit to my growth and success. There simply isn’t enough time. I spend my time unraveling this small thinking knot in those around me that I want/need to add value to my endeavors – Employees, Partners, Mentors, Family, Clients and Prospects when applicable. I read deeply of the pioneers of the new and skim and or ignore the lengthy criticism of those offering nothing more than nit-picking. There are a thousand assholes willing to poke holes from afar in one daring persons new idea without aiding him in his endeavor with fresh ideas.

The good critic is one who adds some value in his criticism – he offers substitutes – he offers potential solutions – or at least focuses on thinking in that direction. Move forward with what you have – stop bitching about all the things that are imperfect about what got us to where we are. Use your mind juices to push the now into a better future – right? I guess it’s a tough thing for a lot of people to do – I suppose I should know – it took me a while to get there as well. It’s hard to be a good critic – which is why so many are bad – good criticism requires work and experience. I cannot tell you how much I truly value those who can get it right.

It’s not invaluable to be able to site flaws – it’s just that in my experience the vast majority of people who criticize FOCUS on the flaw without offering any sort of solution to it. Being able to tell me all the colorful ways something isn’t going to work and focusing on developing that understanding alone is stupid. Acknowledge and understand the problems that are critical to success and FOCUS on finding a solution – focus on moving forward.

-End Rant-

A Short Taoism Rant

All the Buddhas of all the ages have been telling you a very simple fact: Be – don’t try to become. Within these two words, be and becoming, your whole life is contained. Being is enlightenment, becoming is ignorance.
-Osha-

I can’t remember when but at one point I began realizing how true this notion is. I often thought about it in terms of confidence – good and bad types – fake and real types. A person who is simply being has attained a level of peace with themselves that nothing can shatter – he has true confidence – he is unlimited. I wish our lives afforded us more time, and put greater value on, knowledge of self and emotional well-being. The lives we live now are in some ways a crime against our natural inclinations as human beings – a crime against our natural happiness – at least in my opinion.

Think about it, what does it mean to ‘be’ as opposed to be in the process of becoming. One is satisfaction and clarity the other is confusion and desire. Finding yourself, believing in yourself, loving yourself unconditionally and without expectation will bring you to terms with your be’ing’. I don’t think anyone ever really attains a meaningful measure of success without having attained an experience-ground level of comfort with themselves. Failure to arrive at true confidence and peace with one’s form, flaws, and strengths will leave any accomplishment lacking in the eye of the achiever. Even if he is unaware of it consciously.

There isn’t a significant sphere of existence that would not be dramatically improved by attaining a state of being over one of becoming. How many failed relationships have we all seen resulting from one party simply being unable to come to terms with who they are. Too immature, afraid, sensitive, lost and/or confused. How much of our communications are wasted breath – words said only for the benefit of the speakers insecurities. Those that are really bad and I have a proper level of social capital with I confront by simply pointing out in some clever fashion that the conversation would be just as, if not more effective performed in front of a mirror.

I could go on and on about this – as if you couldn’t already tell . If you have interest in these types of philosophical things I highly encourage you to start at the Taoism Wikipedia page and spend a couple hours familiarizing yourself with the teachings of Daoism. I should “make” some time to study up on this – god knows if I don’t actively plan it out it will never happen.

Free Association

This is the first of a new line of entries that will be categorized under free association, If your seeking fluency of thought and coherent arguments you may do better to venture elsewhere fellow netizen! Happy reading

Text wrestling – I always kind of liked the idea. Sitting down and fighting with the thoughts in your head – trying to get the same message conveyed with the words you choose. Perhaps that’s impossible, no two people think alike and as accommodating as one can be there will always be a degree of variance in understanding. I suppose it’s no mystery therefore that good listening skills and real understanding aren’t as easy to come by as we all would like them to be – and in turn why it’s so valuable when we find them.

Free association was my first introduction to the concept of free writing. I guess that made sense in that your thoughts were allowed to freely intertwine and the resulting garble was regurgitated onto paper.. or, more likely nowadays – a digital document. Then again it also may inspire an artificial degree of extravagant association whereas I prefer to write simply as my mind moves – not to push it to move and associate in odd ways for the sake of novelty. Maybe that’s just me.

I’ve been really cold the last 3 days, I’m not sure why but I’m beginning to believe my haircut has something to do with it. I cut it as I normally do – short – but perhaps I should have taken the unseasonably cold weather into account when choosing the time to cut. Anyway I managed to get back into my office today where I had stashed my beanie and gloves after I returned from the states. I was relatively certain at the time that both A. I was never going to use them in China and B. I was a numskull for bringing them all the way over here. The powers at be however seem to have a different opinion on the matter. I guess I’ll have to add this to the list of small lessons I’ve learned about surviving here – I’ll file it next to… dammit I had something clever to say… lost it.

Hey that reminds me I’ve yet to write about the improvements with my “train of thought” problems I’ve been having in the last year or so. I reflected on my experiences in China the two years prior and my life overall and made a simple but important decision. I deserve to be happy. Of course its more complex than that in action however the fundamental principle is what’s important. I suppose it’s not so much that I’ve never made this decision before but rather life has shown me from various positions just how necessary this belief is and more importantly how wrong lives can go if we do not adhere to, and build upon, this confidence.

My decision is not a made in a vacuum but rather in context – I see it as a culmination of my experience – a necessary and undeniable conclusion about life and how to live it. It makes things at once clear and simple – which is nice in a world where most of the things around me are anything but.

I believe I still suffer from a degree of cognitive dissonance as I have for much of my life. A part of me desires a simple life, simple pleasures, normal achievements and levels of success, a wife I love beautifully, and children I cherish and treasure. Taking pride in the emotional success and development of those around me as I traverse a humble path at a comfortable pace. A part of me desires disgusting sums of money and power so that I may experience a world very different from the real one. A world defined by ourselves, each acquiring the same flaws as it’s creator. Master of your own fate with your strengths and deviser of your own demise through your failings. I imagine it would be an incredibly enlightening experience – If I don’t lose myself in it.

A part of me is unshakably confident and resolute about the rights and wrongs of life, as if there where no other way. He acknowledges his points of weakness as he is inexperienced but is particularly confident when it comes to managing relationships – more particularly personal relationships. Friendships, family relations, romantic partnerships, acquaintances, etc. To him the decisions that boggle those around him at times are so obvious he needn’t wait for them to finish explaining their conundrum before offering the solution.

As with most those relationships that are closest to me are the most troublesome to deal with properly and objectively – as one ought to. It is hard to harness the confidence found through loving oneself to do the hard and right things when it concerns those that are – very much – a part of you. I try though, and though I’m very rarely satisfied, I am proud of myself when I take a moments to look back at my triumphs in those small intimate arenas of my life.

Your Chinese Corner KTV and BBQ

So I had my largest event ever this past Saturday at a local Chinese KTV place. I needed to get these video’s hosted somewhere that wouldn’t be blocked by the GFWC so here they come!

Don’t Buy Luggage from Dongmen

What’s Dongmen (chinese)

Now for those of you that don’t know Dongmen is somewhat of a famous area in Shenzhen. Allow wikipedia to express itself: ne of the oldest parts of Shenzhen, the Dongmen area was established about 300 years ago, leading it to be alternatively known as “Laojie” (or “Old Street”).
The variety of shopping in Dongmen is wider than Luohu Commercial City, but has a similar focus on Chinese-made and counterfeit goods. Beauty parlor services are very popular in Dongmen and the department store Maoye has locations on both ends of the road. Despite being limited to pedestrian traffic, Dongmen can become very crowded on nights, weekends, and holidays, giving it a similar feel to Nanjing Road in Shanghai. Suffice to say it’s a hot spot for everything and anything fake especially clothing items – you purchase by weight not by peice. Now back to the bag!

True Quality Revealed

Granted I expected little of a 100RMB bag but what I got was even worse than those already lowered expectations. Before I even left Hong Kong the bag had already lost one of the two feet designed to allow the bag to stand upright on it’s own. The rubber handles attached to the case also smelled chemically. Upon arrival at New York City (JFK) the 2nd foot had also been lost, two zipper tabs were broken off and the telescopic handle mount had come off. That’s the peice that houses the top of the telescopic roller handle thingy. This made the handle unstable when extended but proved a mute point when the entire upper part of the handle popped out of the bottom spitting a ball bearing onto the floor outside of baggage claim an hour or so later.

This morning after pushing the bag around akwardly using the top rubber handle mounted to the case – my lower back! – the rubber handle broke off on the way down some stairs. I managed to catch the bag before it did it’s impression of a slinky the rest of the way down the stairwell. Now I was dealing with a bag that had no means of holding outside of supporting it as if it were a box with wheels on one corner. This was even more uncomfortable on my back not to mention I looked like a jackass babying this thing along in the Port Authority Bus Terminal. After I had purchased my bus ticket for MA and moved down to the gate I had about 30 minutes to sit down and managed to fix the telescopic arm enough to make it useable if handled gingerly. I also noted that the main zipper had some portions where the teeth where wider appart when closed – great…. – so far they have held together – the beast sleeps below me in the bus now. I pray it can make it all the way to my house before I burn it in a ritualistic fire which will culminate with me peeing on the ashes.

Moral of the Story

DON’T BUY LUGGAGE FROM DONGMEN!! I think you get the point. If your looking for trouble and adventure (in terms of stress and aggrevation) then you’ve found your golden ticket. However if your a normal human being in need of something sturdy to cart your personal goodies around the world – look elsewhere. Spend a little more on something of decent quality – the savings arn’t worth the hassle. I still have the stench of the chemically rubber handle on my hands now. I’m not kidding about the peeing part of my planned ritual burning. The Chinese do have a good saying for this and it goes something like “You get what you pay for,” so be sure to take a moment and think through any impulses to purchase an insanely cheap peice of luggage in Dongmen… and anywhere in China for that matter. Quality is worth paying for here in my humble opinion.